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Adoption Today

Adoption Today

By Carrie Wildes and Karyn Lear

Real talk on adoption, foster care and this journey we call parenting. We (Carrie and Karyn:-) are both adoptive parents and have a deep passion for sharing both our stories and many other stories of adoptees, foster parents, and resources out there to help people along their journey. You can also find us on Facebook and Instagram @adoptiontoday we would love to hear from you!
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Guest - Simone Knego: The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You

Adoption Today Jan 05, 2021

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36:14
Guest - Simone Knego: The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You

Guest - Simone Knego: The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You

On this episode we are fortunate enough to chat with author and adoptive parent Simone Knego. 

Her book The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You is a great read anytime, but it is also something that really resonates with a new year and new opportunities. She has a way of reminding us that life happens in the little, everyday moments, like saying hi to your neighbor or waiting a beat to answering a personal question. The stories that come from those encounters, and from her life with her husband and six children, will make you think about the way you approach your own daily routine.

Her witty perspective allows us a fun look at everyday life. We think you will also enjoy our conversation with her as much as we did.

Jan 05, 202136:14
Adoptionly Yours Greeting Card Founders

Adoptionly Yours Greeting Card Founders

Ever wish you could find the perfect card to celebrate an adoption or recognize a birth parent? So did we!
And then we found Adoptionly Yours, a local Tampa Bay-based greeting card business run by two moms.
Stacy Clark and Jane Alfieri both have daughters through the gift of adoption, and met while working in the advertising industry. The writer and artist put their heads and hearts together and came up with the perfect words and illustrations to recognize the adoption journey. Their line of greeting cards includes cards and gifts to support and celebrate new parents, honor birth parents and more.
Hear their inspiring story on the podcast, and then check them out at adoptionlyyours.
Jul 31, 202041:20
Corona Kids Follow Up / episode 2of2

Corona Kids Follow Up / episode 2of2

(Hey all- we did this podcast as socially distant as possible, which means we were on three separate phone lines. So there is a little lag on some of the audio which can make it sound out of sync. Hopefully it's not too bothersome, because there is some good info here! Sorry about that!)

Jennifer Street, a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, is back on the podcast for another episode on taking a trauma-informed approach to mental health during this pandemic. We discuss what we hope will be some helpful reminders for parents and new resources as well.

The trends across the country have shown indicators that people are becoming stressed and overwhelmed.  For this reason, as a caregiver, you have to take care of your needs first,  before you can be helpful to your children.

Change your own expectations of your daily goals.

See where your "pain points" are in your daily routine, and consider whether there is a different way to approach that time of day.  

Give yourself permission to be "off" and do something fun.

Nature is grounding and can help center you. Find time to take a walk outside, sit in the grass or even bring a meal or snack outdoors.

Your child might be in psychological distress if he or she is acting irritable, unable to sit still or focus, or generally not acting like themselves. (Check in with your pediatrician if you're concerned.)

Create space for children to share their feelings with a chart of different colored hearts, for example.

Practice the application of coping skills (for instance, yoga or breath work) when your children aren't upset, so they can return to it when they are in need of regulation. Practicing it while they are calm is the key.

Model the behavior of healthy coping skills.

Talk to children without using shame or guilt to avoid pushing them away.  

Communication cards to change communication: Teach for Love

Remember that children are not little adults. 

Connect, get on their eye-level and offer to help them do something, rather than asking or telling them to do something multiple times.

When giving choices, make both acceptable outcomes for you.

Woe, No Fun book

Better Health -online counseling

Faithful Counseling -online counseling 






May 14, 202042:02
Coronavirus Pandemic and Children - Special Guest Jennifer Street

Coronavirus Pandemic and Children - Special Guest Jennifer Street

Children around the country are feeling the effects of the coronavirus quarantine. If your child is experiencing anxiety, grief, confusion over closings or frustration with their changing world, you’re not alone! Behavioral regression in children is a trauma response. Our guest is Jennifer Street who is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional who specializes in trauma work to find the best ways we as parents can help children navigate these troubling times. (This is part one of what will be at least a two-part series on mental health. We- Carrie and Karyn- are not doctors, or mental health experts! But we felt a need to start a conversation about this.)

Here are some takeaways from our discussion:

~Structure creates safety for children, and children require that - especially now. 

~Parenting is now completely different, whether you're working while at home, going into work as an essential worker (or easing back into it as the orders are lifted) or a stay at home parent. Be easy on yourself. Don't measure your current daily accomplishments to your former level of efficiency, or anyone else's. 

~Learning to regulate your own emotions as a parent is the first place to start so that you can teach your children to do the same. 

~Boundaries are crucial for working parents: Set up a workspace away from your children, if possible.
Take shifts if you're able with a spouse or partner. Also, shift mentally into work/play mode during the day.

~Create a demobilizing ritual so you can shift from work to parenting duties: Three steps: Reflect, rest, reset.
Set an intention for how you will show up to achieve quality time at your job and with your family.

~Have a daily routine and schedule of certain things that happen at certain times, even if it's not down to the hour. 

~Give kids choices and autonomy by allowing them to "shop" in your pantry with play money. 

~Brain breaks during the day help children focus on school work and helps break up the day. Cosmic Kids Yoga 

~Positive Parenting Solutions- web-based parenting online course: Attention bucket and Power bucket. 

~Generation Mindful - emotional regulation tools. Choose a time-in rather than a time-out to avoid power struggles.
Create a Calming Corner, a time-in spot to go to process big feelings.  

~How We Love : Trauma-based book to figure out your love language. 

~Empowered to Connect : Great free resources on topics such as parenting aggressive behavior, managing stress and even fun topics like finding out your play personality (I found this especially interesting!).

~Big Life Journal : helps kids draw and write about their feelings

~Beyond Consequences


May 07, 202041:16
Episode 27: Amy Williams / Custom Made Kid

Episode 27: Amy Williams / Custom Made Kid

Amy Williams is the author of a beautiful children's book about adoption, called "Custom Made Kid." She and her husband have three daughters and live in Birmingham, Alabama. She shares her story with us about her very own custom made kid, who came to her family by way of adoption. If you've ever been frustrated by the waiting game of adoption or the cruelty of infertility, Amy's example is comforting and inspiring. You will appreciate her honesty when it comes to talking adoption, motherhood and God's divine timing in all things!
May 23, 201949:28
Episode 26: Pregnancy Through Embryo Adoption
May 08, 201943:55
Episode 25: Kelly Zarle: Foster Advocate and Chapter Head for Foster Florida
Apr 24, 201938:34
Episode 24: Barbara Allen Part 2 Adopting from Korea

Episode 24: Barbara Allen Part 2 Adopting from Korea

In our last episode with Barbara from February 2019, we ended with their family waiting on final approval to go to Korea and meet their little girl!  In this episode we talk all about the journey that unfolded since then and how it all went down! 

Apr 11, 201933:32
Episode 23: Part 2 of Mary Anderle's Foster Journey

Episode 23: Part 2 of Mary Anderle's Foster Journey

Our very first podcast guest and friend, Mary Anderle, is back with an incredible update to her story.
You may remember that Mary and her husband have two biological children and were in the process of trying to adopt a third son through foster care. Their foster care journey began with creating a safe, loving space for a few children who turned out to be short-term placements. And then just before Hurricane Harvey hit, they welcomed a newborn, Baby B, into their home and into their hearts. When we last spoke to Mary, they were in limbo about his future, wanting to adopt him and make him permanent family member, yet not knowing the outcome. This past year has tested their faith, made them stronger and brought them all closer together. Find out the latest on their foster-to-adoption journey, and where Baby B is meant to be.
Mar 28, 201938:47
Episode 22: What Not to Say to Foster and Adoptive Parents

Episode 22: What Not to Say to Foster and Adoptive Parents

Sometimes we wish our friends and family knew certain things about adoption... like, what not to say to people who are adopting! Well-meaning people often unknowingly use words in ways that aren't the most constructive. When it comes to questions, statements and assumptions, we have heard some interesting ones!

We've got some real life examples, as well as some suggestions for how people can rephrase common questions and statements to make everyone feel better.

And remember, when in doubt, laugh it off! At the very least it makes a good story.

Mar 14, 201925:13
Episode 21: Barbara Allen - Adopting from Korea
Feb 27, 201929:14
Episode 20: Adoption Love
Feb 12, 201926:10
Episode 19: Meredith Emerick's Adoption Journey to China
Oct 21, 201849:51
Episode 18: Jen King's Story

Episode 18: Jen King's Story

Jen King is a fellow mother, wife and friend who loves to entertain friends and family. She and her husband Kiley live in Tampa, Florida with their two young daughters. Jen was kind enough to share her adoption story with us: how she found out she was adopted and how she felt about that knowledge growing up. She also shared her feelings about taking a chance on a Facebook message and meeting her birthmother and biological family members once she was an adult.
Oct 15, 201827:42
Episode 17: The System of Carelessness in Florida - The Real Root Cause and How We Can Solve It

Episode 17: The System of Carelessness in Florida - The Real Root Cause and How We Can Solve It

There was another tragic death here in Tampa Bay involving an innocent child in the state's foster care system. Two year old Jordan Belliveau was senselessly murdered after being removed from his foster family. His biological mother is charged in his murder.
Tragically, the foster care system in Florida is not doing enough to protect children like Jordan, and we are obligated to speak out and do something about it! On this episode we talk about some of the faults in the system, the laws governing the best interest of the child, and what we believe could be beneficial in order to end the cycle.
Oct 07, 201831:18
Episode 16: Working as a Mom

Episode 16: Working as a Mom

Are you a mom who works full-time outside the house, or a stay- at-home mom, or a combo of the two? Whatever your family situation, there are always benefits and struggles. We each bring our own unique perspective in discussing how we make it work!
Sep 23, 201830:47
Episode 15: Jed and Vicki Taufer's Adoption Adventure In Nepal

Episode 15: Jed and Vicki Taufer's Adoption Adventure In Nepal

Jed and Vicki have two beautiful children adopted from Nepal and Thailand. We are talking all about how their first adoption from Nepal didn't quite go as planned. It left Vicki in Nepal for 6 months not knowing if their adoption would ever got through and changed their lives forever!
Sep 10, 201849:54
Episode 14: Adoption Cost and Fundraising
Aug 26, 201828:52
Episode 13: Children's Adoption Book Review

Episode 13: Children's Adoption Book Review

We take a look at some popular children's books about adoption. Each has a slightly different message, so we checked out some geared towards international adoption, and others that are better for domestic infant adoptions. Here are the ones we reviewed:
"Wonderful You"
"When I Met You"
"Motherbridge of Love"
"The Family Book"
"Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born"
"Yes, I'm Adopted!"
"A Mother for Choco"
"How God Makes Babies"
"I've Loved You Since Forever"
And we also are looking forward to reading the Dungy's family's new booking coming out February 2019.
Aug 19, 201833:04
Episode 12: Adoption Travel

Episode 12: Adoption Travel

Many times in adoption, families have to travel to another state to meet their baby and bring him or her home. That usually means the adoptive parents will need to remain in the state where the baby was born for a few weeks after the birth. Karyn and Scott did just that when they lived in Nashville and traveled to Tampa to be present for the birth of their son. Listen to hear tips on staying sane while staying in a hotel with a newborn baby.
Jul 30, 201821:60
Episode 11: Anna Bolton, Russian Adoptee

Episode 11: Anna Bolton, Russian Adoptee

Adoptive parents: For anyone who has ever wished they could ask what adoption feels like from the other side, Anna shares what she wishes all adoptive parents could know.
Meet Anna Bolton:
Anna was adopted from Russia as a toddler and has grown up here in the United States with her mom, dad and brothers. She is about to begin her freshman year in college, but when she's not spending time with her family, hanging out with friends or working as a hostess, she loves talking about adoption. Anna shared with us how her family told her about her adoption, and how she dealt with the information. She also opened up about her feelings towards her birth family, her recent visit to Russia, and the impact that faith has had on her journey.
Jul 23, 201841:38
Episode 10: Liz Aguero

Episode 10: Liz Aguero

Liz Aguero and her husband have been foster parents for six years, in addition to having two biological children. Most of their foster placements have been babies and toddlers who wound up finding forever homes with relatives. Their current foster care child is 18 months old, and he was just matched with his permanent adoptive family, right here in Tampa! So, yes, despite what you may have heard, it is possible to adopt a baby or toddler through foster care.
(Keep in mind that any child in foster care has been through some emotional or physical trauma or neglect.)
We talked with Liz about balancing the harder parts of foster care with the joys of loving on all those sweet babies.
Jul 01, 201855:20
Episode 9: Jessica Alvarez Therapy

Episode 9: Jessica Alvarez Therapy

In today's episode, we talk about forming a secure attachment with your child, and where to go for help if that doesn't come easily.
Jessica Alvarez helps families in need of attachment-focused therapy and provides adoption-competent services. Jessica graduated with her Masters of Social Work, and is currently a Registered Clinical Social Work Intern at Adoption Related Services of Pinellas County.
We talked with Jessica about the needs of children who have come through the foster care system or are adopted. Jessica shares why attaching to a primary caregiver is so important, and how she is able to help families repair or strengthen that bond.
Also, she shares why some behaviors that look like defiance are actually a survival mechanism for children who have been through trauma.

If you would like to contact Jessica or someone on her team, please call Adoption Related Services at 727-657-7761. They also offer parenting classes and a monthly support group.
Jun 24, 201844:10
Episode 8 Foster Care: When you have to say goodbye.
Jun 17, 201845:17
Episode 7: Father's Day

Episode 7: Father's Day

Check out our conversation with our sweet husbands, David and Scott. The Dads stole the show on this episode- and we're ok with that!
David and Scott share their feelings and provide a look at adoption from a dad's perspective. David also shares his bacon-cooking tips. If that doesn't make you tune in, we got nothing.
Jun 11, 201841:10
Episode 6: Our First Guest Mary Anderle and her Foster Journey
Jun 03, 201845:39
Episode 5: The Tale of Two Hospitals

Episode 5: The Tale of Two Hospitals

Aren't all hospitals "adoption friendly?" No, it turns out! Every hospital's policy is unique. We'll share our very different stories and provide some tips for your stay in the hospital.
Carrie and I (and our families) were each lucky enough to be present for the births of all of our children. This sweet picture is of Carrie and David and their family leaving the hospital after the birth of her youngest daughter. If you're considering infant adoption, you might be fortunate enough to celebrate your baby's actual "birthday" as well!
May 27, 201824:23
Episode 4: The Private Adoption Process: How does it work?
May 21, 201832:54
Episode 3: Our Stories

Episode 3: Our Stories

We share the journeys we have taken that led to being matched with our children! We'll also talk about what it means to have an open adoption and how - and why!- we communicate with our children's birth mothers.
May 14, 201831:36
Episode 2: Mothers Day

Episode 2: Mothers Day

Wouldn't it be great if we could tell our children's birth moms exactly how much we appreciate them on Mother's Day? The cool thing about open adoption is that we can! And we do. In this episode, we also talk about Mother's Day from several perspectives, including women who are struggling to become moms. We also share what our first Mother's Days were like, and our favorite things about being moms. Plus, Mom Guilt, it happens to (almost) everyone!
May 06, 201830:02
Episode 1: Adoption Today Meet Us!

Episode 1: Adoption Today Meet Us!

Our very first episode get to know Carrie and Karyn. Well talk about why we're qualified to talk about adoption and what we've got in store for this podcast!
Apr 26, 201824:41