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Detox Podcast

Detox Podcast

By Denise Walker

A deep dive into addiction & recovery by means of Denise Walker's poetry collection, Pick Your Poison. Each episode explores the themes & emotions of one poem from the book, ranging from grief and pain to strength and joy, many of which are found in the face of everyday situations while in recovery. Your own copy of Pick Your Poison is not necessary but is available on Amazon or directly from the Author at www.denisewalkerspeaks.com if you would like to purchase it. Find Denise on Instagram: @denisejwa or Facebook: Denise Walker, Author.
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Ep. 2.12 Bunny

Detox PodcastJun 10, 2021

00:00
43:35
Ep. 2.12 Bunny

Ep. 2.12 Bunny

Is it addiction or is it internalized capitalism? Denise shares how when she got sober, she shifted from making art just for her to monetizing every aspect of her life. Productivity, self-worth, time, energy... it's all part of the structure. She lists a bunch of ways to notice internalized capitalism within you and offers ways to cope with it.

Show Notes: Learn to Read Tarot Workshops and Club Steady: www.cityandsoul.ca/workshops

Jun 10, 202143:35
Ep. 2.11 Us
Jun 03, 202128:56
Ep. 2.10 Sheep/Sleep
May 28, 202138:44
Ep. 2.9 Transformation

Ep. 2.9 Transformation

Addiction recovery is rife with discomfort. Oftentimes, step one of recovery is sitting through the discomfort without using. But is discomfort only to be suffered through? What if we explored and honoured it instead of avoiding it? There is incredible data in the discomfort. We can explore it to discover important things about ourselves that will better equip us on our recovery journeys.
May 20, 202127:40
Ep. 2.8 Adopted

Ep. 2.8 Adopted

Denise shares the emotional personal story of how she was adopted and all the messy events that followed. CW: Self harm, suicide, family shit, physical abuse.
May 13, 202132:58
Ep. 2.7 The Hardware Grill

Ep. 2.7 The Hardware Grill

There has been a lot of talk on social media regarding Self-care vs Community Care especially in a this -or-that kind of way. This episode explores the implications of moving to a Community Care support model from Self-care model for those in addiction recovery while identifying some missing pieces in the discourse as well as prescribing some homework for the audience.
May 06, 202140:09
Ep. 2.6 Heart to Heart

Ep. 2.6 Heart to Heart

Q&A style episode where Denise answers questions that were asked regarding sobriety on Instagram like, "How do you stay sober when craving hits?" and "How do you explain how important your sobriety is to your non-sober friends?"
Apr 29, 202138:42
Ep. 2.5 Mimi

Ep. 2.5 Mimi

Denise interviews Nutritionist Mimi Rose who specializes in food for recovery. Visit her blog here: www.recoverybitesblog.com. Register for my Learn To Read Tarot Workshop (on April 27, 2021) here: www.cityandsoul.ca/workshops and use code TAROT at checkout to get 40% off! Sign up for my email list here: www.denisewalkerspeaks.com

Apr 22, 202151:46
BONUS EP. Your Heart in a Vault

BONUS EP. Your Heart in a Vault

A tip from my psychologist on protecting the heart ❤
Apr 18, 202112:50
Ep. 2.4 Flower

Ep. 2.4 Flower

Cannabis in sobriety? Denise talks about starting to use cannabis after being sober for a while and details her ever-changing thoughts & opinions towards it.
Apr 15, 202142:27
Ep. 2.3 Metamorphic

Ep. 2.3 Metamorphic

Welcome to the dark side of spiritual awakenings. Denise asks the question, "When does spirituality stop helping and start hindering?" Denise talks about reprogramming her brain in recovery in a way that at first was very beneficial but eventually left her in a mental space rife with spiritual bypassing.

Apr 08, 202139:50
Ep. 2.2 Hip Sobriety

Ep. 2.2 Hip Sobriety

What is Unconditional Positive Regard? Denise describes interpersonal experiences from her time in Hip Sobriety School and how Unconditional Positive Regard was and is such an integral piece in supporting others in recovery. 

Apr 01, 202138:38
Ep. 2.1 Susie
Mar 24, 202136:32
Episode 73: Al-kuhl

Episode 73: Al-kuhl

Are drunk words sober thoughts? In this episode, Denise speaks about the "bad" things we do while intoxicated, the cognitive dissonance these things produce, and how to reconcile your "negative" actions with the good person you really are.

Jan 20, 202158:04
Episode 72: Worship (FULL MOON)

Episode 72: Worship (FULL MOON)

The importance of ritual in recovery (or any kind of chaos) & why it helps.
Jan 01, 202135:52
Episode 71: Wendy

Episode 71: Wendy

Denise explores chronic suffering, cycles of pain, and the possibilty of contentment in the midst of a hurricane.
Dec 26, 202023:29
Episode 70: Venti&Shades

Episode 70: Venti&Shades

Content Warning: Self-harm. We talk about self-destructive behaviours, where they come from, why we do them, & the concept that we do them "just for the attention".

Dec 18, 202027:46
Episode 69: Hawrelak Park Ampitheatre

Episode 69: Hawrelak Park Ampitheatre

Cravings & what to do about them.

Dec 11, 202029:17
Episode 68: Paper Thin

Episode 68: Paper Thin

In this episode, Denise talks about people-pleasing, boundaries, and carrying shit that isn't ours.

Dec 04, 202026:02
Episode 67: British Columbia in Mid-July

Episode 67: British Columbia in Mid-July

Denise recounts devastating forest fires in British Columbia & Alberta as a segue into the global trauma that is COVID-19. She talks about personal & collective grief as well as survival.

Nov 27, 202027:57
Episode 66: Brain Fog

Episode 66: Brain Fog

In this episode, Denise talks about the frustrations of Brain Fog while in active addiction. She relives how toxic alcohol was to not only her body & mind but also to her relationships.

Nov 20, 202028:46
Episode 65: Drinking Again

Episode 65: Drinking Again

What it feels like to drink after being sober for a time & what to do if you've started drinking again.

Nov 18, 202032:18
Episode 64: Mind Fuck

Episode 64: Mind Fuck

I share my experience with the mind fuck that is deciding to drink again. Namely, all the bullshit that went through my head as I was about to head to a Mexican All-Inclusive resort when I was only 3 months sober. Even though I knew that drinking again would leave me in a state close to death, the pull to still do it was impossibly strong.

Dec 16, 201922:48
Full Moon

Full Moon

This is the last full moon of the decade! Settle into a guided meditation to release the old patterns of 2019 and enter into the 2020's feeling lighter & more aligned.
Dec 11, 201944:22
Episode 63: It Takes A Village

Episode 63: It Takes A Village

We all have good days and bad days, but what if the bad days were actually the best days? What if everything good came from the times we completely shattered into a million pieces? In this episode, I explore all the deeper meanings of "bad days" and "good days".

Dec 09, 201927:16
Episode 62: Cliff's Edge

Episode 62: Cliff's Edge

Scared of the looming holiday season? Me too. In sobriety, we constantly have to choose our new life over our old drinking life. Liquor-laced events pop up all the time and threaten to pull us back into our partying ways. In this episode, I explore how we can keep our eyes on healing and self-care instead of succumbing to dangerous "obligations" or "temptations".

Dec 02, 201927:08
Episode 61: Queen

Episode 61: Queen

I talk about the first taste of freedom from nightly craving and how amazing it felt. However, craving wasn't done with me. I had spoken too soon & celebrated too soon. Like all things, recovery is not linear. Like all things, recovery comes with cycles. Once we lean into the death & rebirth of this process, we will find peace within the madness.

Oct 07, 201924:42
Transformation Meditation

Transformation Meditation

We all have phases of death and rebirth - use this audio to turn inward and release what no longer serves you.
Oct 03, 201929:52
Episode Sixty: Numb

Episode Sixty: Numb

In this episode I talk about how I've always been a master of self-abandonment and what that cost me over the years. I reflect on ways I'd been vacating myself even before I started drinking.
Sep 30, 201927:34
Episode Fifty-Nine: The Things I Never Told You

Episode Fifty-Nine: The Things I Never Told You

I tell the story of a water bottle filled with gin, how I lied about it, and how I am so grateful to be free of deceptions like that

Sep 23, 201925:17
Episode 58: Dear Bourbon,

Episode 58: Dear Bourbon,

Alcohol is an abusive lover that tricks you into remaining trapped. It talks down to you, instills fear, makes you loathe yourself. In this episode, I talk about the moment before freedom and how things seem to get harder right before we walk through the door to the other side of addiction.

Sep 16, 201927:02
Episode 57: Shatter

Episode 57: Shatter

Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome is a bitch but it is also a scared experience - a right of passage in recovery that teaches us to care incredibly deeply for ourselves. 

Sep 12, 201929:41
Episode 56: Solo Travel

Episode 56: Solo Travel

I tell the story of my first solo AND sober vacation to Phoenix, Arizona when I was only 2 months sober. I share how a hike of the West Fork Trail in Sedona was the ultimate pilgrimage of soul & how I let it be the final resting place of the old, addicted me.

Sep 02, 201928:32
Episode 55: Groundhoggin'

Episode 55: Groundhoggin'

In the poem, 'Groundhoggin'', I ask, "is this all life has in store for me?" Every day felt the same like I was reliving the same day over and over again. Drink all night, sooth a hangover all day. I never prepared my food for work, amongst other neglects, leading to a devaluation of myself. I was my last priority. In this episode I talk about how to break free of Groundhog Day.

Aug 19, 201926:24
Episode 54: F*ck You, I'm a Warrior

Episode 54: F*ck You, I'm a Warrior

Cravings are the things that keep us in the addiction cycle. They are the single most challenging part of breaking free. So, when you do, bask in the overwhelming sense of accomplishment and ask for the next mountain to head your way.

Aug 05, 201928:42
Episode 53: Flashback Friday

Episode 53: Flashback Friday

Today is the worst day of your life. Now, Imagine waking up late with no clean clothes and no time to eat. You are not prepared to take on this horrible, anxiety inducing date. Everything seems to be working against you. So what do you do?

Jul 29, 201929:03
Episode 52: Sensory Deprivation

Episode 52: Sensory Deprivation

"Awareness is like fire, and fire purifies." - Dr. Richard Miller.

The psyche feels fragile in early recovery, so fragile that the sound of a mere air-conditioner is enough to shatter it. In this episode, I describe feeling stuck in this state & I reflect on how quickly "stuck-ness" turns into growth. 

Jul 22, 201926:58
Episode 51: Baby

Episode 51: Baby

I used to do everything in my power to avoid being called a 'cry baby' or 'too sensitive'. In recovery, I have learned to embrace my feelings and use them to my benefit. I talk about how the word 'overreact' is lost on me and how to dive deep into our reactivity for personal growth.

Jul 15, 201935:09
Episode 50: Recovery

Episode 50: Recovery

After years of drinking, it was as if the bottles of gin had exploded and embedded jagged glass in my organs. In this episode I talk about how recovery begins when we remove the shrapnel. The process is painful but we must be diligent. We must celebrate each piece as it is removed.

Jul 08, 201917:58
Episode 49: Blue Heaven

Episode 49: Blue Heaven

I used to have a crippling fear of flying which I routinely tried to "solve" by drinking throughout my airport/airplane experience. Here is my list of 17 ways to manage your fear of flying without the booze.

Jul 01, 201922:17
Episode 48: Vor í Vaglaskógi

Episode 48: Vor í Vaglaskógi

In this episode, I explore my poem named after a song by Icelandic band Kaleo. The time surrounding this poem was an emotional one where I was fighting the pull to escape either into total bliss or total destruction. Inevitably the only option was to stay in uncomfortable limbo between the two. 

Jun 24, 201919:46
Episode 47: Insomnia

Episode 47: Insomnia

What do Chernobyl & airplane crashes have to do with sobriety? Hint: Rock bottom is bullshit. In addition to that not-so-sweet relationship, I talk about feeling out of control and how to tell when that feeling is beneficial and when it is detrimental to your highest good.

Jun 17, 201929:30
Episode 46: True North

Episode 46: True North

'True North' is about using discomfort as a compass rather than an exit strategy. In this episode, I talk about loneliness and how we can shift our perspective of it to better serve us.  I share my journey of learning to welcome myself home after years of vacancy. 

Jun 10, 201927:22
Episode 45: Introversion

Episode 45: Introversion

 A lot of us on this journey are caregivers & have a hard time turning that part of ourselves towards ourselves. I talk about selfishness in recovery and how it is not synonymous with "badness". Through my poem, 'Introversion', I talk about the importance of choosing to direct most of your energy towards yourself in order to give yourself much needed attention that has possibly been lacking for a long time.

Jun 03, 201922:15
Episode 44: Irritation

Episode 44: Irritation

My poem, 'Irritation', is all about dealing with mood swings in early recovery. In this episode, I explore how unpredictable irritation can be and how difficult it can be to dispel. I talk about how Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome is a dangerous but vital part of the recovery process and I provide some tools for dissipating feelings of frustration. 

May 27, 201926:40
Detox Podcast Episode 43: Here & Now

Detox Podcast Episode 43: Here & Now

In this episode, I talk about the importance of recognising when we are harbouring pain and how impactful telling one person about it can be. I speak about finding clarity, my struggle with using cannabis, and how to use meditation to gain space & perspective.

May 20, 201923:47
Detox Podcast Episode 42: Responsible

Detox Podcast Episode 42: Responsible

I dive into my poem, 'Responsible', to explore the fine line between helping and hindering when it comes to being a good friend. As I healed, I learned amazing tools and strategies that worked extremely well for me. The trouble is, I loved MY way so much, I began pushing it on others. In this episode, I talk about learning to stay in my lane as well as how to provide loving support without trying to single-handedly solve everyone's problems. 

May 13, 201927:18
Detox Podcast Episode 41: Sat Nam

Detox Podcast Episode 41: Sat Nam

In this episode, I take you through my poem 'Sat Nam' by exploring themes of anger, transition, & expansion. 'Sat Nam' means 'True Identity' and that is the essence of this poem—during moments of clarity I could see how my true self was being uncovered. 

May 06, 201932:27
Detox Podcast Episode 40: Beam

Detox Podcast Episode 40: Beam

In this episode, I explore my poem 'Beam' by sharing stories about incredible joy. I relive moments of uncontrollable bliss in unsuspecting places and discuss how lucky I am to get to experience this addiction to recovery journey.

Apr 29, 201918:31
Detox Podcast Episode 39: Goodnight, City Lights

Detox Podcast Episode 39: Goodnight, City Lights

In this episode, I explore the pull to hear the experiences of others when I myself felt emotionally disconnected. I talk about the relationship between empathy and self-control and the science behind it. I share my experience with empathy and how it wasn't until I was sober that I realized how susceptible I am to the energy of others.

Apr 22, 201928:38